Tim Allen is dishing on a Hollywood showdown that sounds more explosive than anything on screen.
According to the Home Improvement star, Tom Cruise personally confronted him after Allen loudly called out “bull—-” during a premiere screening of Mission: Impossible — The Final Reckoning.
Allen, 72, told the story during a stand-up set at The Laugh Factory in Los Angeles on January 8, admitting he treats red carpets like a swag run.
“You know, this celebrity s—, I say hi to these people like I know them,” he joked. “When I go in there, I want the swag. I want the Mission: Impossible hat.”
But about 30 minutes into the movie, he says things went off the rails.
Allen claimed one over-the-top stunt pushed him too far: a BMW 7 Series flies off a parking structure, lands nose first, flips over, and Cruise’s character strolls out like nothing happened.
“It would’ve killed Batman,” Allen said, so he blurted out, “Bull—-!”
The theater instantly froze.
Allen says the crowd went dead silent until one moviegoer fired back, mocking his Toy Story role: “Yeah, it’s kind of funny, Mr. Lightyear?”
The comedian tried to walk it back and told the audience he was “just f—— around,” but the damage was done. He claimed Cruise’s “ears were bright red,” and the embarrassment was obvious.
Then came the part that “scared [him] to death.”
When the credits rolled, Allen says Cruise walked straight down the aisle toward him.
“He walks down the f—— aisle, looks at me. I’m scared to death, even though the dude is literally this tall,” Allen said, holding his hand at Cruise’s height and reminding the crowd the star is around 5’7″.
Remembering his grandfather’s advice to “eat crow while it’s fresh,” Allen says he immediately folded.
“I apologized. I said, ‘Hi, bye,’” he told the crowd, adding that Cruise was actually “a nice guy” in the moment.
But Allen couldn’t resist taking one more swipe, this time at Cruise’s longtime religion.
“I think he put a spell on me though, because he’s a Scientologist,” Allen joked. “His eyes got really red and something hit me.”
Allen also reminded the audience he’s a “religious guy” who grew up being forced into church every Sunday, making his uncomfortable brush with one of Scientology’s most famous faces feel even stranger.
From yelling “bull—-” at the screen to facing down Tom Cruise in a packed theater, Tim Allen turned one blockbuster premiere into his own real-life Mission: Impossible.
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